When it’s finally your turn

Tell me, do you actually miss flying? – No not at all.

And sometimes it was the case that you had to get up at four in the morning to catch the first flight. Oh don’t remind me, that was cruel! You can’t drink that much coffee to make up for it. And the worst part is, I don’t even like coffee. When you arrive at the airport, you have these long lines at security.

When it’s finally your turn, you have to take off your shoes, then you have to take off your belt. And then if you’re unlucky, you lose your pants. And then somehow you crawl through this security gate in socks. And no matter what you do, this stupid thing will beep anyways.

And despite all the security, this bad feeling remains in the stomach. And do you remember when you told me about bomb attacks, at the airport? And the security man with a plug in his ear followed us all the time? Well, maybe I shouldn’t have said the word bomb that loud.

But we were lucky. We didn’t spend all night in jail. At the security gate we got rid of him and then we were pressed into the bus and then into the narrow plane. Hey, narrow is an understatement! I once had one next to me that actually needed two seats. And then the one in front of me pulled back the seat and the woman on the right smelled like an open perfume.

You, that was torture. And I paid a lot of money for that. Well, if you are taking the middle seat, then of course you have the problem that the person to the right and left of you then places their arms on the armrest and you no longer know what to do with your arms.

Why don’t the seats have two armrests? Only that’s not our topic right now. Especially bad during take-off and landing was always this pressure on the ears. And the babies, they can’t compensate that well and the poor ones always cried that much. Not just the babies.

I also had to fly with a cold one time. I have never had such earaches in my life. Ouch, you giant baby. That was a man’s cold! Hey, I didn’t think that was funny. I haven’t heard anything for three days after that. You know, I’m glad we don’t have to fly anymore. If the Lord had wanted man to fly, he would have made him grow wings.

Yeah, or a rocket engine. But I’m also very happy that we left that behind and stopped flying. Tell me, we have an appointment at Lake Constance next week. You have an event there in the evening and I have to be back in Berlin the next day because I have a seminar in the morning.

How do we do that anyway? Well, let me surprise you. I have booked a Nightjet. We get on at Lake Constance in the evening, then we go back to Berlin overnight and we have lots of space there as well. Eh, first class or what? And there is also a night flight ban in Berlin and I don’t want to fly anymore?! Yes, there is even a ban on day flights.

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